There once was a little boy growing up in a city in India. His family was quite open to new cultures. The little boy was well travelled and had experienced visiting around 11 countries and 4 continents even before he turned into a teenager. As he was growing up, he often was called names, teased, mocked by his friends and cousins and relatives alike. All for he had a slightly darker skin colour than his peer group!
The little boy was well travelled and had experienced visiting around 11 countries and 4 continents even before he turned into a teenager.
Initially, as a toddler, he did not understand what the reason was for all this mocking. His mother told him not to pay heed to this conversation. “It really doesn’t matter what the colour of one’s skin is”, she said. But, as he started getting older, it became harder for him to ignore the continued mocking that he received. The simple solution he found was that he avoided meeting people and spent time by himself. If at all he faced this mocking, he walked away silently as soon as the attention from him shifted slightly, went into the loo and looked himself into the mirror. With a well of tears in his eyes, he told himself that this does not matter. He reminded himself of what his mother had told him.
“It really doesn’t matter what the colour of one’s skin is”, she said. But, as he started getting older, it became harder for him to ignore the continued mocking that he received.
Then on one Sunday, his mother came with a mixture of honey, milk and gram flour scrub and applied it on his face. She scrubbed it well and said you can apply this twice a week, and your skin will glow and shine. He was a little kid, but he knew why that scrub was given to him. It felt a bit strange and he wondered why his mother was subscribing to the idea of skin colour despite saying that it did not matter. But, she hadn’t realised that.
Once his aunt who was visiting them, saw him apply the pack to his face wasn't very subtle and told him that he should consume milk and other white coloured products and not eat dark things like chocolates, and said that she doesn't allow her children to have chocolate either. The kid now thought that the colour of the skin actually matters and that his mother had hidden him from this reality to protect his feelings.
He applied the pack dedicatedly twice every week for the next six months. He stopped eating chocolates despite his liking for them. His skin did shine and glow and become puffy and healthy because of the pack that he applied, but the colour did not change a bit. The little boy got disheartened but thought that this was his fate and continued to live silently.
The boy loved reading, and that’s how he spent most of his alone time. He loved reading stories, biographies, philosophies, art and that, without realising, altered his perspective on life. He realised that he wasn't alone. In fact, the ones who made fun of him were bullied by others too – for other reasons of course – their height, weight, sexuality, gender, bodily anomaly and so on!
He realised that he wasn't alone. In fact, the ones who made fun of him were bullied by others too – for... ...their height, weight, sexuality, gender, bodily anomaly...
What happened in that realisation (although the shift wasn’t instantaneous and it took him time) is that he was able to accept who he has been. Instead of resisting his skin colour, which he thought he never did, he was able to accept and choose his being.
Resisting isn’t always in the form of rejecting what is or unaccepting the given. Resisting also happens in silence, suppression, oppression, disregard and in many ways. And, acceptance isn’t about choosing from the point of having no options – as this is all I’ve and what else can I do… But, acceptance comes rather from choosing what is, as is and being fully available to it. A choice of who he was altered the little boy’s life.
Resisting isn’t always in the form of rejecting what is or unaccepting the given. Resisting also happens in silence, suppression, oppression, disregard and in many ways...
...acceptance comes rather from choosing what is, as is and being fully available to it.
After a few weeks, the same aunt and her family were visiting them again. The aunt obsessed with the colour of the skin allowed her children only to drink milk and did not give them the chocolate. The boy though fetched a block of his favourite chocolate and crunched a bite through it. His cousins too wanted a bite but were afraid that they would become dark like him. The little boy handed them a book instead and said, "hope you find your freedom to eat the chocolate you wish to..."
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