While writing the clearing for acceptance post, I could see for myself how I was pushing for a conclusion of what I was writing. Trying hard to have a proper, moral, logical end to the post. The storyline for me was, I was doing this, I realised that and so now I am now ‘aware', I'm in touch with something profound.
Why do I have this temptation for a conclusion? To bring things to a proper end? To summarise the outcome?
If I cannot predict the end (good or bad is immaterial) that makes me uneasy and anxious.
We want to fit everything around us, from the start of this Universe to the end of it, in our frame of mind. We want to ensure that the model and framework of our storyline doesn’t fail. If I cannot predict the end (good or bad is immaterial) that makes me uneasy and anxious. So I want everything around ME - people, situations, relationships, problems, achievements and even nature - to adhere to MY story. There is no place for wonder. There is no space for new creation.
The moment I let go of the urge for a known conclusion; to spread and fill the canvas of climax; to fill it with morality, righteousness, summary, results, proper ending or a result, I get a choice. A choice to keep the canvas clean. To keep it blank... Empty...
There is room for acceptance.
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